


Mourning

by hanyou_elf



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-09
Updated: 2012-01-09
Packaged: 2017-10-29 06:46:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/316904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanyou_elf/pseuds/hanyou_elf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean isn't handling it very well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mourning

**Author's Note:**

> Explicit spoilers for 7x10 (Death's Door) and 7x11 (Adventures in Babysitting)

Dean was drunk. He was too drunk. Sam watched him, one week after the final declaration. Bobby wasn't coming back.

Dean wasn't handling it well.

He pushed against the hold of Sam, against sobriety, against the world. Sam watched him, and it was like Dean was slowly trying to kill himself.

He'd had to pick Dean up at the bar. He'd gone through a bottle of whiskey and was halfway into the second bottle. He couldn't walk straight and had yet to notice the bartender had switched him to flavored water.

Sam watched his brother stumble into their motel room with his eyes nearly half shut. Dean smelled like cigarettes, cheap cologne, and alcohol. He was broken and didn't even realize how bad off he was.

"Bathroom," Sam ordered gently as he guided Dean toward the small room. "You're not sleeping in that stench."

"Nobody else, Sammy," Dean said cryptically. "I ain't... I can't. Not again."

"I know," Sam answered.

He left Dean standing at the door of the bathroom before he stripped to boxers and started the shower. He turned the water to warm, just warm enough to be hot. Dean was used to the quick five minute showers under scalding water that left him clean but by no means satisfied.

This was not a shower to get clean. This was a shower to give Dean the privacy he needed to mourn. To weep the tears he'd never let another soul see. He turned to Dean and found him stripped bare and so small in his grief.

If it had been a different situation, Sam was sure he'd have embarrassed himself with an inappropriate erection, but grief was useful like that.

He pulled Dean to his chest, hugged him. He needed this moment of connection before they got into the shower. His heart felt like it was breaking. Nothing like Dean's, but broken nonetheless.

Dean was pliant as Sam pulled him into the shower. He stood under the steady stream of water, unmoving.

Sam stood behind him, calloused hands low on Dean's belly and the other over his chest. He held his brother the best way he knew how.

Bobby was dead. He'd passed from this world into the next. His part in this war was done. The soldiers left to fight it would have to stand firm in the wake of tragedy.

Sam’s grip on Dean tightened when he felt the hitch in his breath and saw his shoulders shaking. Dean was going to shake himself apart here. He was silent of course.

Sam laid his head on Dean's naked shoulder as he stood there, his brother submissive and unresponsive. He wanted Dean to focus on mourning what he'd lost with Bobby.

Water poured steadily over Sam's head, weighing his hair down. It drifted lazily over Sam's shoulders and onto Dean’s in shifting patterns. He clenched his eyes shut and allowed a shocked gasp to escape as he sobbed for the mentor he'd lost.

Bobby had taught him it was okay to be both civilian and hunter, to have career and the damned responsibility. And he had all the best of books.

Sam sobbed a broken breath in when Dean's calloused hand carded through the wet tangled mess that was his hair. Of course Dean would respond to Sammy's suffering. Even though he'd been zombified since the doctor's explained they couldn't get Bobby's heart started again.

Sam felt it though as Dean carded through his hair. And he wanted to smile as Dean clenched his eyes shut and his body trembled with the effort of hiding away sobs.

"S'not fair," Dean cried softly. "Shoulda been me. Can't even make a fuckin' deal!"

He didn't have any special words that would make this death easier to handle, so Sam gripped Dean tighter and just let him cry.


End file.
